The stage goes dark. A small crew comes out and prepares a table with a candlelit steak dinner. A fine glass of wine is poured and the waiter scurries off into the darkness. The lights fade in as Gabe Newell emerges from the shadows. He doesn't acknowledge the audience, instead slowly walking over to the table, he puts on his bib and sits down. Over the course of five to ten minutes, Gabe eats his steak and drinks his wine. He pays no attention to the audience still, he is focused solely on the delicious meal. When finished, he calmly stands up and wipes himself off. He walks to a podium. The spotlight follows him from above in an otherwise blackout room. Murmurs cease from the audience as he grasps the podium with both hands. He looks into the audience silently and says nothing. He stares. Minutes pass. People shift uncomfortably. After what seems like forever, he lifts a hand from the edge of the podium and points it downward. His finger is pointing to a large red button. He hovers above it motionless for another few minutes. Then he presses it. On the projector screen behind him, the blinding bright words flash on in the blackened theatre: HALF LIFE 3 AVAILABLE NOW ON STEAM The crowd goes absolutely nuts. Everyone is on their feet, screaming and applauding and cheering. But after several minutes of celebration, people begin to notice that Gabe has not moved since he pressed the button. Then suddenly, he raises his hand above the button once again and pauses. The crowd is now silent. He presses the big red button again with a swift joust of his finger. HALF LIFE 3 AVAILABLE NOW ON STEAM FOR FREE Everyone goes absolutely insane. People are jumping and a mosh pit forms toward the front of the room. Nobody even remembers where their seat is anymore. But once again, after about 5 minutes of raucus celebrating, Gabe has still not moved a muscle. Once the crowd is silent, he raises his hand again and slams the button. HALF LIFE 4 AVAILABLE NOW ON STEAM FOR FREE The crowd explodes with confused exuberance and people are laughing and taking pictures with their phones. This time, Gabe doesn't wait. He presses the button again. HALF LIFE 5 AVAILABLE NOW ON STEAM FOR FREE And again: HALF LIFE 6 AVAILABLE NOW ON STEAM FOR FREE And again and again and again. By the time the projector announces Half Life 17, the crowd is completely silent. Some people are crying. One person says "I just want to go home." Gabe is visibly sweating. He presses the button one last time. TEAM FORTRESS 3 AVAILABLE 2025 ON STEAM And then he strolls off stage without a word.