Lol, but once you have chickens long enough you know what I mean. Chicks are typically aquired in early spring, they take 6 months to get laying and then go through seasonal cycles depending on where you live. It is best to feed them a quality organic soy free gmo free uncooked bagged feed, usually corn, peas, barley, wheat, camelina, triticale, fishmeal, and minerals, plus lots of quality pasture, grubs and bugs, cracked corn and all the veggie scraps and compost. They wil like free choice of oyster shell for strong shells. They need lots of fresh water cause they like to shit in it, and in winter need to keep it unfrozen. Also clean laying boxes so the eggs are easy to clean off, they like a perch as well. Keeping a light on and a heat lamp will keep them productive as they are photo sensitive to laying. After a few years they slow down laying and you can cull them for chicken stock and the dogs. Sometimes they will get broody, try to kill themselves, won't fly back over the same fence they just flew over and all sorts of unimaginble nonsense.