without an effective group chat MLS style key scheme it's impossible to make private groups without small scale relays also, how exactly do you figure that it's not decentralised when you have to go here for this group and there for that group and clients are gonna have to actually start to do some logic about where they look depending on what the user wants? that sounds kinda decentralized to me like how i have to have URLs for git repositories, which is also traditionally considered to be a decentralised CVS maybe you need to get thrown into the deep end with some bluesky, mastodon and farscape bullshit to realise how much better this shit is?